Whoever said "LET SLEEPING DOGS LIE" didn't sleep with dogs.

 
 The first thing you discover when you bring a dog onto your bed is the
 striking difference in weight between an alert, awake dog and a dog at
 rest.
 
  Rule Number One: The deeper the sleep the heavier the dog.
 
  Most people who sleep with dogs develop spinal deformities rather than
 rent the heavy equipment necessary to move their snoring canines to a
 more appropriate part of the bed. Cunning canines steal precious space
 in tiny increments until they have achieved the center position on the
 bed - with all covers carefully tucked under them for safekeeping.  The
 stretch and roll method is very effective in gaining territory.  Less
 subtle tactics are sometimes preferred.  A jealous dog can worm his way
 between a sleeping couple and, with the proper spring action from all
 four legs, shove a sleeping human to the floor.
 
 Rule Number Two: Dogs possess superhuman strength while on a bed.

 As you cling to the edge of the bed, wishing you had covers, your sweet
 pup begins to snore at a volume you would not have thought possible.
 Once that quiets down, the dog dreams begin. Yipping, growling, running,
 kicking. Your bed becomes a battlefield and playground of canine
 fantasy. It starts out with a bit of "sleep running", lots of eye
 movement and then, suddenly, a shrieking howl blasted through the night
 like a banshee wail. The horror of this wake-up call haunts you for
 years. It's particularly devastating when your pup insists on sleeping
 curled around your head like a demented Daniel Boone cap.
 
 Rule Number Three: The deeper the sleep, the louder the dog.
 
 The night creeps on and you fall asleep in the three inches of bed not
 claimed by a dog. The dog dreams quiet slightly and the heap of dogflesh
 sleeps breathing heavily and passing wind. Then, too soon, it's dawn and
 the heap stirs. Each dog has a distinctive and unpleasant method of
 waking the pack.  One may position itself centimeters from a face and
 stare until you wake.  The clever dog obtains excellent results by
 simply sneezing on your face, or they could romp all over your sleeping
 bodies  - or the ever-loving insertion of a tongue in an unsuspecting
 ear.
 
 Rule Number Four: When the dog wakes - you wake.
 
 So, why do we put up with this? There's no sane reason. Perhaps it's
 just that we're a pack and a pack heaps together at night - safe,
 contented, heavy and loud.

Author Unknown

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